Aragorn, The Evil
by TrinityTheSheDevil
Summary: Sequel to Orcs, The Pain In My Arse. Aragorn gets revenge on Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir!


Title: Aragorn, The Evil  
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil  
Rating: PG 13, I'd think........  
Summary: The sequel to Orcs, The Pain In My Arse. Aragorn gets his revenge! Warning: Don't eat OR drink while reading this. (Happy folks? I put the warning BEFORE the fic!) ;)  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Lord Of The Rings characters (*sob*) and I'm making no money from this. (Even tho I could use some money....) Also, some of the pranks in here I got from The Net. Book of Practical Jokes and Pranks. *grins*  
  
This hasn't been beta'd. Lots of errors, but I picked out all I could find. Meh. Anyway, on with the fic!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn breathed in deeply, and the rich sent of Rivendell filled his lungs. Elrond had FINALLY let him out of that blasted bed. He didn't understand...it was just an arrow wound! His foster father had even resorted to drugging him to make him stay still.   
  
Ah well, no use worrying about the past. He was finally free! He could do whatever he wanted...walk, fish, hunt, ride, pay Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas back for all that they did to him....yes...whatever he wanted. He chuckled. They were definitely in for it.  
  
He had plenty of time to plan his revenge while lying in bed too. Legolas had remarked at how quiet he had been, during his time of recovery. What Legolas didn't know was, he wasn't quiet. He was plotting.   
  
He had thought up a LOT of ways he could get them back. A few included scars that would probably last for life, so he quickly discarded those ideas. In the end, he had a perfect plan. Chuckling again, he made his way back to the house. If he was going to get them back, he'd best get started.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"He's up to something."   
  
Elladan nodded, agreeing with Legolas. His brother had been very quiet as of late, and that worried him.   
  
"We'd best be on our guard."   
  
"Yes. There's no telling what he's going to do." Elrohir groaned. Their brother was devious and cunning when he wanted to be.   
  
"Legolas, tell me, how is Mirkwood this time of year? It would be lovely to go on a visit. Perhaps we could leave in say....10 minutes?"   
  
Legolas chuckled, and looked towards Elladan. "Come, Elladan, you aren't afraid of your brother, are you?"   
  
"Me? Afraid?" He said. "I'm terrified! You don't know what he's capable of!"  
  
"He's only human. What can he accomplish against three elves, who're on their guard?"   
  
"You will be tragically ripped from your blissful ignorance soon enough, my young elf." Elrohir shook his head.  
  
"Yes. So you say. I still think that he cannot, and will not, do anything to me. I am Prince Legolas, and I will not be defeated." Legolas nodded to himself. He wasn't worried. Really.  
  
"Yes. That will just make it all the more painful, when he does get the best of you."  
  
Legolas sighed. There was no way he could change their minds. He would just prove that Estel wasn't going to be able to extract his revenge upon him.   
  
But, that's where Legolas is all wrong.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn chuckled as he put the final touches on his first act of revenge. This would go over very well. Chuckling again, he stepped down from the stool, and quickly walked off in the opposite direction. He didn't want to be anywhere near when the first prank went down.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elladan peeked around a corner, before walking on. He was definitely on his guard. Estel would NOT get the best of him. Searching around, he found no trace of his foster brother. Good.  
  
Making his way towards his room, he thought that perhaps Estel wouldn't choose to get them all back. 'Yeah, and pigs will fly.' He said to himself.  
  
Taking another look around and spotting nothing out of the ordinary, he opened the door to his room and stepped in.   
  
*CRRREEEAAAK*  
  
*SPLASH*  
  
Elladan sputtered as a bucket and it's wet contents landed directly on his head.   
  
"AAARRRAAAGGGOOORRRNN!" He screamed. Oohhh, his brother was going to pay.  
  
Wiping the water out of his eyes, he trudged off towards the bathroom to change.   
  
Stripping down to nothing, he turned and absent-mindedly glanced into the mirror. Doing a double take, he took a look at himself.  
  
He.....was......blue.  
  
Not just ANY blue, but a bright, bright blue! His hair, his skin, his arms, his chest....and then he looked down. Oh yes, EVERYTHING was blue!   
  
Muttering to himself, he ran some bathwater to scrub the paint off. From now on, he was doubly on his guard. Nothing else would get by him this day.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn snickered as he heard his brothers yell. It would take DAYS for that paint to wear off! Elladan didn't know that though.  
  
Putting the next part of his plan into action, he clenched the half full bag of flour to his chest. He knew Elrohir was currently residing in his bedroom. Which was a good thing.   
  
Placing the opening of the bag of flour under the door, stepped back. Then, he jumped on the full part of the bag, sending the flour everywhere inside his brothers room. Pouncing on it a few more times to make sure the room would be completely covered, he ran off laughing madly to himself.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrohir placed his book on the table and rubbed his temples. He wanted to go outside, but had a feeling that if he did, Estel would pull some prank on him. No, 'twas better to sit out the days in his room. He was MUCH safer here.  
  
Sitting on the bed, he started drawing again. It had become his favorite past time. As his pencil touched the paper, he thought he heard a sound. Looking up towards his door, he listened. When he didn't hear anything again, he went back to drawing.  
  
*shuffle*  
  
He looked towards the door again. There was some sack being pushed under the door. Uh oh. Lunging towards the door to push the sack back out, he found out he wasn't fast enough.  
  
*POOF*  
  
A cloud of flour caught him right in the face. Coughing and gagging to get it out of his mouth and airway, he breathed in right when another cloud hit him. And another, and another.   
  
*COUGH COUGH, GAG GAG*  
  
When the giant cloud of flour finally settled, he looked around his room. EVERYTHING was covered. Including himself. He wacked his head on the floor, wondering if this day could get much worse.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn howled with laughter as he heard his brothers coughing. It was going to take him hours to clean up all that flour, including himself. Aragorn smiled....being evil was fun!  
  
Walking by Legolas's room, he heard a small splashing sound. Putting an ear against the door, he listened. Yep, there was splashing. Legolas was bathing! Great! This would be the perfect time to get him.  
  
Quietly creeping in his bedroom, Aragorn proceeded to take every scrap of clothing and throw them on the bed. Bundling them up in the sheet, he took them out of the room, and threw them over a balcony. That done, he took out a flask of grease, and poured it in front of Legolas' door.   
  
Dusting his hands off, he crept down the hall a bit and hid behind a corner to wait. Shouldn't be too long now.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas sighed, and finally finished up washing his hair. Nobody knew the lengths he went to keep his hair looking great! Oh well, at least he didn't walk around with a head full of dirt.   
  
His mind suddenly turned to Aragorn. Would he try to get Legolas, like Elladan and Elrohir had said? Nay, even if he did, Legolas was too smart for him. He was way older than the human, he had nothing to worry about. He hoped.  
  
Standing up he stepped out of the tub and dried off, placing the towel about his waist. Walking to his room, he reached into his closet for clothes. He frowned when his hands met nothing but air. Looking through his dresser, he found the same thing. Nothing.  
  
Estel had gotten him.  
  
Stalking out of his bedroom intent on finding Aragorn and beating some sense into him, he failed to notice the grease covering the floor. His foot slipped and he slid, doing a awkward dance to stay balanced, across the hallway. His dance ended when he smacked right into the wall opposite his door. He slid down the wall, to land in a heap on the floor, the towel a few feet away. Oh boy...that had hurt.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn sighed, wondering when that blasted Elf would finally appear. He was tempted to go scare him out of the tub. What does he DO in there anyway?!  
  
His patience was rewarded when he heard Legolas step out of the tub. He smiled to himself. This should be quite entertaining.   
  
Hearing a closet door open, then shut, and a dresser drawer open and shut, he knew Legolas was about to step out. And he was right. He watched his friend all but run out, then slip. He laughed out loud as Legolas slid across the floor.  
  
*SMACK*  
  
Legolas slid down the wall and fell to the floor. Aragorn noticed that the towel had fallen from his friends hips, and lay but a few feet away. Running, he snatched up the towel and turned to stick his tongue out at his friend. Oh, payback was sweet. Oh so sweet.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas looked up and spotted Aragorn running towards him, snatch up the towel, and take off. Great..he was sitting here naked in the hall. NAKED!  
  
Jumping up, he ran after Aragorn calling threats all the way. Unbeknownst to him, that as he ran past one of Elrond's studies, he was being watched.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I'm telling you Glorfindel. That boy is up to something. I just-" Elrond broke off as he heard a *SMACK*, then the unmistakable sound of Aragorn's laughter. Holding a hand up to silence his friend, he listened as footsteps raced towards his door.   
  
"What are they doing now?!" Elrond groaned.  
  
"Maybe they're just having fun." Glorfindel shrugged.   
  
They both turned towards the door and watched as Aragorn ran past, carrying with him a towel. Shortly after came a streaking Legolas. Elrond's eyes widened as he watched him run by, in full glory.  
  
"Well...............there's something you don't see every day." Glorfindel chuckled as Elrond just groaned again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas grumbled to himself as he climbed up the tree. Aragorn had thrown his towel upon one of the higher limbs. Ohh....he was going to pay for this. Reaching his towel, he tied it firmly around his middle, and proceeded to climb back down. Until he heard...giggling.  
  
Oh, no. He looked down and spotted about four Elf girls.   
  
"AAIIYEE!" He sat upon one of the larger limbs to cover up his....sensitive parts.  
  
"Umm...can you uhh...turn your heads for a minute..perhaps?" He asked, his ears turning pink.  
  
"Why would we do that?" One of them asked sweetly.  
  
"Oh Valar help me." He wacked his head against the tree.  
  
"Legolas! What are you doing in that tree, clad in but a towel?" Legolas heard the voice of Elrond.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure you love entertaining these pretty ladies, but surely there's another way to go about it." Glorfindel spoke up.  
  
"It's not MY fault! If your son hadn't made off with my clothes, I wouldn't have had to chase him halfway across Rivendell!" Legolas said, now completely red.  
  
"Well, if you ladies will excuse us." Elrond motioned with a hand, and with a sad sigh, the females departed.  
  
"It's safe now." Glorfindel called up.  
  
Legolas sighed, and climbed down. Upon reaching the ground, he was handed a robe by Elrond.  
  
"In the future, please try to refrain from streaking across the grounds. Even if it's Estel's fault." Elrond said, trying to stifle a chuckle himself.  
  
"Noted. Thank you both, I don't know how I would have gotten down without...." Legolas nodded in the direction the girls had taken off in.  
  
"Yes. Females." Glorfindel made a long, drawn out, suffering sigh.  
  
"Ahem...well....if you'll excuse me.." Legolas walked off in search of spare clothes that he could wear, all the while cursing Aragorn.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn laughed to himself as he did one of his last deeds for this day. It included filling Legolas' quiver half full of clay, and leaving it to dry in the sun. He could just imagine the look on his friends face when he tried pulling an arrow out.   
  
Finishing with that, he walked in to join everyone for supper. It would be a most interesting meal, he knew that much.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrond sighed to himself, as he sat down at the table. Frowning, he looked at the empty seats. It wasn't like his sons, nor Legolas, to be late for supper.  
  
He turned towards the door as he heard footsteps, and watched Aragorn stroll into the room and take his place at the table.   
  
"Have you any knowledge to where the others are?" Elrond asked.  
  
"No Ada. None." Aragorn said, as he wore his most innocent expression.  
  
Elrond grunted and wondered what his foster son had managed to do to the twins. If anything like Legolas...well.....he truly didn't want to know.  
  
Speaking of, Elrond looked up as Legolas walked in, and sat himself opposite of Aragorn.   
  
"I see you're fully clothed." Aragorn snickered.  
  
"Yes, no thanks to you." If looks could kill, at that moment, Aragorn would be shishcabob.  
  
"WHERE IS HE?! I'M GONNA THROTTLE HIM!" Aragorn jumped as he heard Elladan's voice. Uh oh.  
  
"Elladan, calm yourself." Elrond looked up.....and laughed. His son was BLUE! Completely blue, from his hair to his ankles.  
  
"How am I suppose to be calm.......WHEN I'M BLUE?!" Elladan stalked towards his younger brother, intent on strangling him.  
  
"Now Elladan, it wears off in a few days. And besides......it makes a nice change from your normal appearance." Aragorn ducked as his brother swung at him, then ran behind Elrond.  
  
"Elladan! Sit! You too, Estel!" Elrond hardly raised his voice but this was getting out of control.  
  
Glowering, Elladan sat beside Legolas, who was currently laughing at him.   
  
"It's not so funny Legolas. Tell me, did you give those nice elves a good view?" Elladan snickered as Legolas turned red, then he too glowered at Aragorn.   
  
Aragorn, for his part, had the expression of complete innocence again. That was, until Elrohir walked in with white streaks in his hair.  
  
"Elrohir.....do tell what happened to you, brother." Elladan said, and sniffed his brother's hair. "I smell...flour."  
  
Elrohir glared at his human brother, then looked towards Elrond. Muttering something under his breath that would make Sauron blush, he sat down at the table.  
  
Elrond raised his eyebrow at this, and asked, "What happened?"  
  
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET DRIED FLOUR OUT OF MY HAIR?!" Elrohir lunged at Aragorn, who fell backwards out of his chair.  
  
"Elrohir!" Elrond yelled. "Elladan, get your brother back before he kills Aragorn!" Elrond stood up and pulled the younger of the twins off the human, who was laughing like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"Elrohir, violence will do nothing -"  
  
"THE HECK IT WON'T! LEMME AT HIM!"   
  
"ELROHIR! Quit it! You're acting childish now, it's just a little flour." Elrond said, and pushed the young elf in his seat.  
  
Aragorn got up from the floor and straightened his shirt, then sat opposite Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir. When Elrond wasn't looking, the stuck his tongue out at them.  
  
"Estel, please stop, you're only making your situation worse." Elrond sighed. Aragorn was playing with fire now.   
  
"Yes Ada."   
  
After that, dinner went smoothly, with only them snipping at each other every so often. As soon as he was finished, Elrond excused himself from the table complaining about insane and immature elves. Aragorn, who didn't want to be left alone with the other three, also excused his self and ran out the door.  
  
What they didn't know was.....Aragorn wasn't quite finished with them  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn laughed quietly as he yet again sneaked around his fathers halls. He figured he'd get Elladan first, since that would take the longest.  
  
Holding the glue to his chest, he came upon his brothers door. Taking the brush, he began to brush the glue in the crack between the door and the wall. It should dry in a few hours, and nobody would be able to open the door.  
  
Sitting back to admire his handy work, he laughed to himself and took off towards Elrohir's room. Grabbing the small "pet" he had captured the day before, he opened the door.  
  
Looking in to make sure Elrohir was asleep, he crept to the side of the bed and opened the door of the cage, releasing the small terror. Laughing, he walked back out and shut the door. Only one more stop now.  
  
Heading towards Legolas' room, he stopped and listened. Yes, Legolas was asleep. He could hear the soft even breathing.  
  
Walking in he spied the clothing that Legolas had laid out for tomorrow. Putting on gloves, he grabbed the leaves he had brought just for this.  
  
Grabbing the underclothes, he vigorously rubbed the leaves all over the inside of them, making sure to get the juice everywhere.  
  
That done, he crept back outside and headed towards his own room to sleep for a bit. Oh yes, payback was sweet indeed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn opened his eyes as the morning light danced across his face. Sitting up in bed, he stretched and yawned. He got up and put bare feet against the cold floor, and quickly got dressed. As soon as he stepped out into the hall, he heard it.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" Followed by a "THUMP". Then several sounds, that sounded like "WHAP, WHAP, WHAP, WHAP, *SHATTER*". Aragorn winced, and followed the sounds to Elrohir's room. Whoops.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrohir sighed, and rolled over. He loved the feeling of waking up. His body responded to the warmth coming in from the windows, his mind slowly but surely grasping that warmth to return from dreamland. The feel of small legs crawling across his face...  
  
What the..?!  
  
Jumping up, he saw the biggest and most furry spider he had ever seen in his long years.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" Sliding away from the spider, he fell off the bed and landed hard on the floor. Grabbing the nearest thing he could find, his sword, he attacked the spider with a fury.   
  
Swinging the sword around, it caught on one of the vases in the room, and it shattered on the floor. The spider quietly escaped out the window, leaving Elrohir breathing hard and looking around for any sign of the little demon.  
  
Estel was dead.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Having heard his brothers scream, Elladan quickly got dressed and ran towards his door. Putting his weight against it and expecting it to give way, he was surprised to find that it was stuck and he hit it with a "THWAP".  
  
"OOF!" The air was knocked from the elf's lungs. Straightening himself back up, he grasped the handle of the door and pulled. It wouldn't budge.  
  
Pulling again, he noticed something slightly sticky coming from the crack in the door. Glue.  
  
Estel was dead.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After being rudely woken from his slumber by the loudest and most girlish scream, Legolas changed into the clothes he had laid out the night before, and grabbed an arrow out of his quiver to follow the scream.  
  
Only...the arrow wouldn't move. The whole quiver followed the arrow up.  
  
He shook the quiver, then tried to pull them apart. They wouldn't move at all.  
  
Reaching his hands in as far as he could, his fingers encountered dried mud.  
  
Estel was dead.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrohir looked up as Elrond burst into the room, followed by Legolas and a VERY winded Elladan.  
  
"I..am here....*huff*...had to..*puff*....climb out....*inhale*...window...*huff*....door glued...*puff." Elladan bent over, hands on his knees, breathing hard.  
  
"What were you screaming about?" Legolas asked, eyes narrowed while surveying the room.  
  
"A spider." Elrohir shifted, feeling slightly embarrassed.  
  
"A...spider?"  
  
"A BIG spider!!" Elrohir moved his arms about a foot apart, exaggerating the size of the spider.  
  
"Uh huh. Did you kill it?" Legolas asked, scratching his butt slightly.  
  
"Umm...I think."   
  
Elrond looked over at Legolas, who was now scratching his butt, and his front.  
  
"Legolas, what is it? Do you have some kind of fungus?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Uhh..er...*scratch scratch* I have no clue. I'm all...*scratch....scratchscratchscratch* itchy!" He said, scratching heavily now.  
  
"Umm...I'll...*SCRATCHSCRATCHSCRATCHSCRATCHSCRATCH* be right back." Legolas fled from the room. Running towards his own room, he looked towards where he was itching.   
  
Poison ivy rashes covered his entire middle section down.  
  
"AARRAAGGOORRNN! YOU ARE DEAD!" He screamed, and stalked off to ask Elrond about certain salves.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn, who wasn't very far away, laughed until he cried. He had had his revenge.  
  
Chuckling to himself, he walked down the hall and ran right into Elladan and Elrohir.  
  
"Hellooooo little brother." The blue Elladan said.  
  
"So nice to see you....all alone." Elrohir stalked towards Aragorn.  
  
"Umm...hi...er...I can explain." Aragorn bit his lip and started backing up, and ran into Legolas.  
  
"Oh really? Explain rubbing poison ivy all over my under clothes."  
  
"Uhhh.....Sauron made me do it?" Aragorn whirled around to face Legolas.  
  
"Wrong answer."   
  
Aragorn, who knew when it was time to retreat, did just that. Running out of the house, he ran towards the stables intent on getting out of there. His brothers and Legolas were hot on his heels.  
  
Watching all this from an above window, Elrond shook his head. He hated it for Aragorn now. That boy had it coming.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The End!  
  
*HUGGLES REVIEWERS* I've had bunches of reviews on my previous fics, thank you all!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you all liked this one just as much!  
  
Reviews rule, btw. ;) 


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